Wednesday, May 11, 2005

that's why i look in the mirror every morning and realize how fly i am

juelz santana - "we don't give a fuck (feat. paul wall)" (from dj kay-slay - let the games begin)
cam'ron & hell rell - "get 'em daddy" (from big mike - the contender 2.0 - rap is like wrestling)

today, we break format and provide some mixtape rips currently making time in the apartment funwrecker. we'll get to the new spoon record in a hot minute, the celtics, maybe even some comic book discussion. right now, i have to thank c dot lemon-red & sean hardly-art respectively for putting me up on these tracks. if you're reading this right now, there's an 83.4% chance you visited the LEM first. saying though, if you don't read hardly art and purpology everyday, please ask for assistance as you have fallen and cannot get up (read: SLIPPING). homeboy had 5 m.o.p. tracks the other day. FIVE! in closing, high fives all around. (post script: fairness dictates complete disclosure. i am not feeling the juelz/paul wall track to absurd degrees, but it still catches heavy rotation simply because paul wall claims he's "kinda like omar from the wire." seriously though, i had higher expectations for a dipset/swishahouse collabo.)

going forward with a long overdue update:

- the boston celtics. many nba historians refer to the organization as a proud franchise with 16 world championships, including the most dominant dynasty in professional sports history (1959-1966, study your history). your boy refers to the 2004-2005 edition of the green as straight bitchmade. how do you lose to the indiana pacers in a series where clearly opposite styles are set to collide? two weeks ago, during the halcyon days of game 1 blowouts, comments like this echoed about the apartment:

roommate dave: "looks like they got the long whiteboy unit in there."
roommate "big dog" chris: "it's like we're playing a pickup game against high school biology teachers."
funwrecker: "i need another drink."

so how the fuck did this happen? the c's respond to the biggest game of the season (see also: biggest of entire careers for the youth movement) by turning in the single worst game 7 performance in the history of organized hoop. i'm not fucking around. this was brutal to watch. personally, i took in about 50-55 celtics games this season (plus 5 of 7 postseason) and the tv was off by the middle of the 3rd quarter. how bad, you ask? the truth played his way out of a celtics uni. employee #8 confirmed every misinformed, latently racist comment ever made about his on-court demeanor and inside-out game. the following day in boston, fairweather fans who hitched the walker/pierce bandwagon to a finals run 2 months ago were calling for a clean sweep by management. paul rizzy tells me that pierce is rumored to be sent to the portland oregon minimum security work release program. doc rivers basically coached his way out of a round one victory by believing his own hype. in a 7 game series, things like bench depth and 10 man rotation DO NOT MATTER. everyone is playing on the same amount of rest. if anything, rotations SHORTEN in the playoffs. and worst of all, you never abandon a style of play that works (running, using dribble penetration to force the defense to collapse, superior ball movement) in favor of adopting THE STRENGTH OF THE OPPOSING TEAM. i'm sure hater of the year danny ainge will gut the team in favor of "youth," meaning he'll finally dump walker AND pierce, bring some headcase with a max deal, and sell the new owners on 2-3 more seasons of rebuilding through ping pong balls. i can't talk about this anymore. (ed. note: is there any team in the league more despicable than the pacers? in the aftermath of the brawl, you think they would have learned some humility through the ordeal. but they're still throwing elbows, acting for calls, running a clinic on cheap shots, and turning it around on players like walker and pierce who are prone to lapses in judgement. what can you say about a roster when the most likeable player might be ron artest? i will chug gallons of haterade on these cats; jackson, miller, o'neal, dale davis, rik smits, chuck person, haywoode workman, ANYONE WHO EVER DONNED THE GOLD AND BLUE.)

- if you suffered through 500+ words about a local basketball team and you don't like professional sports, thanks for the effort. your reward is two tracks from the new fannypack lp see you next tuesday (think about it...), "seven-one-eight" and "you gotta know."

- speaking of new releases, gimme fiction by spoon fixes to kill your soulful indie rock game this year. the sage-like chris nelson turned in the best unconventional comparison today by referencing the solid 7.9 in terms of darryl hall & john oates. for my money, midtempo guitar rock jams like "sister jack" call to mind memories of a young funwrecker skating around the campus of bridgewater state college, blithely unaware of pursuit by the man while rocking "gold soundz" by malkmus & co. on the walkman. you know it's good when it comes lauren the girlfriend-approved.

- nick sylvester works his record review/get money hustle with james motherfucking murphy.

- more tasteful comic book noir from ati/planetlar: smoke and guns (say it fast out loud) by kirsten baldock & fabio moon. late summer '05.

- "I'M WEARING A STRIPED SHIRT!" part deux.

- some of you are still sleeping on tom vek. listen here as the kid gets the phones remix treatment. re-up on the original while you're at it.

i hope to be back before week's end with o.c. wrap-up (motherfucking t.i. was on last week and nobody said anything? am i alone in my dual love of summer and the king of the south?), red sox thoughts (they can't hit a walk-off to win every game, right?), and some REAL TALK on comic books (desolation jones #1 like WHAT?).

xoxo,
funwrecker.

5 Comments:

Blogger Joey said...

I'm with you on Summer and T.I.

11:37 AM  
Blogger faker said...

guess who's a famous rock reporter now!?!?!?!?!?!

5:57 PM  
Blogger Paul Rizzy said...

Nice recap, but Ricky Davis was a headcase and he seemed like the most stable veteran on the team.

Also please don't hate on Detlef and Mullin.

And they killed Caleb, NOT CALEB!

9:24 PM  
Blogger Sean said...

For real though, thanks.

2:34 AM  
Blogger Sean said...

BTW I'm with you on the Juelz/Paul Wall song. Really Underwhelming.

2:35 AM  

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